


Don't Miss (Him)

by wednesdaythunder



Series: Better off as Lovers [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Apologies, Fix-It, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Langst, M/M, Post-Season/Series 07, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-29 14:55:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15731718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wednesdaythunder/pseuds/wednesdaythunder
Summary: “What the hell are you doing?” a voice asked next to him, and Keith turned his head so fast his neck hurt.It was himself, standing there, looking down at him, with his arms crossed and everything.“Wha…” Keith was not following. He looked around, but the landscape was barren as usual, a sky of overwhelming purples, with reds and blues speckled throughout the vista. He looked back at himself. Well, it’s sorta himself—this one is younger, with shorter hair and lacking a scar. A clone maybe? But that wouldn’t make sense in the Astral Plane, would it?______Or: I've read so many posts of how s3 Keith would slap s7 Keith up so I wrote a fic about it





	Don't Miss (Him)

**Author's Note:**

> I should preface this by saying that I was very salty when s7 came out. Like. Woah. The ocean got nothing on me. So this is mostly me trying to work through my feelings that canon has stirred up, and maybe offer some catharsis to those who reacted similar to me.  
> With that said—if you did enjoy s7, then all the power to ya, bro. Personally I finally faced my love for mechas because Atlas was _thicc™_  
>  Shout out to Luisa who have just moved but still took time out of her day too look over my fanfiction! <3

Deep space was atrocious. One would think that Keith would be used to it by now, but N. O. P. E. He was not, thank you very much. It was an endless, dark abyss with no up or down or direction; inhaling recycled air; longing for water; with only the four other paladins to keep him sane.

There should be another sound off alert coming soon, Keith mused. Aaaaaany second now.

But instead a shock-wave of exploding reds erupted through the darkness, trashing them around, and Keith tried to hold onto Pidge and Allura as hard as he could. Another wave hit, with such a visceral ripple that he felt as if it _slapped_ him.

Then, suddenly, he was there. In the Astral Plane. Falling on his ass.

What. The. Hell.

 “What the hell are you doing?” a voice asked next to him, and Keith turned his head so fast his neck hurt.

It was himself, standing there, looking down at him, with his arms crossed and everything.

“Wha…” Keith was not following. He looked around, but the landscape was barren as usual, a sky of overwhelming purples, with reds and blues speckled throughout the vista. He looked back at himself. Well, it’s sorta himself—this one is younger, with shorter hair and lacking a scar. A clone maybe? But that wouldn’t make sense in the Astral Plane, would it?

“What’s wrong with you?” the other him hissed, glaring down at him, his eyes rendered dark purple in the weird lighting of the Astral Plane.

“What do you mean?” Keith snapped back, standing up. “What is this? Where are the others? Who are you even?”

“I’m you, _idiot_ ,” the younger Keith snapped back at him. “And I will slap you again if I have to—because _clearly_ you need some sense knocked into you!”

“What’s your problem with me?” he exclaimed.

“You’re acting super weird, man.” The other took a step forward, and even though Keith had a good two inches on him, he still felt kind of intimidated by the pure rage in the other’s eyes. “Do you even care for any of them anymore, or has the two years on a space whale made you all loopy?”

Before Keith even had the chance to ask what the other was on about, he continued his verbal assault. “If you don’t get your act together, we will lose him,” he hissed.

“Who’s _him_?!” Keith roared, getting up in his own face. He was fed up with this one-way discussion. “I was drifting in _space_ just a minute ago and now I’m fuck knows where and you’re yelling at me for no reason.”

Talking to yourself was an extremely frustrating experience, he found, as the other him literally snarled at him.

“You’re screwing it all up!” the other bellowed. “I’ve worked so hard to be their friend— _his_ friend—but you’re treating him like garbage! You’re not me, not anymore, because I would never let anyone on _my_ team feel useless and dumb like _you have_!”

“I still don’t get what you’re talking about!” Keith shouted.

“Then _you_ are the dumb one.” His volume dropped, words suddenly a quiet observation, as opposed to their shouting match just seconds ago, but they echoed louder than their collective howling at each other.

Keith got that nagging feeling you get when you forgot something; like he should know exactly what the other him was on about, yet he couldn’t grasp the context of his words.

Just then, the other him got the jump on him, lunging a fist, and Keith reacted, blocking the blow.

“You needa wake up and face reality,” the other said, drawing back before trying to kick him, to which Keith jumped back and lunged an attack of his own.

“Keith!” someone shouted but he paid no mind, not when he was fighting himself.

“You need to wake up!” the other him kept insisting. “Wake up!”

_“Keith!”_

Hands yanked him back, and suddenly the whole team was there, holding him—he blinked but the Astral Plane was gone, and instead he was back in the dark void of space with the others.

“What are you doing?!” Pidge yelled and Keith looked around uncertainly.

“I… I saw…” he started with but he couldn’t really find the words for it. “It must have been a hallucination or something…”

“Yeah, you just ripped out of the formation and attacked the nothingness,” Hunk informed him, giving him a little pat as he was slowly being pulled back into the circle where they were now all facing each other.

“Hey, are you okay?” Lance asked gently and something inside of Keith snapped.

“I’m fine,” he told him, told them all. “Let’s just get back into formation.” He didn’t want to waste more energy on his mind playing tricks on him, and trying to figure out what his crazed-out subconscious was trying to tell him. It was all just a stupid hallucination, spurred from exhaustion anyway, Keith reasoned. It hadn’t been real.

Still, though he wouldn’t let himself think about it too much, his cheek ached, like someone had slapped it. Though that wasn’t possible, since he had been wearing his helmet the entire time. It was probably just a weird placebo effect or something.

* * *

Once they got back to their lions, Keith _really_ didn’t spend much time reflecting on anything. Instead, all his energy went into planning the next step, making sure that they were making progress.

Seeing a planet in decay under Galran rule was nothing new to him—but it was still a gut punch when it was _his_ planet. A city he had walked in, lived close to, completely in ruins, and with enemy patrols walking through it… It was the last place he wanted to end up in, but he just couldn’t afford to dwell on it too much.

“I’ll distract them and you take the shot,” he told Lance from where they were crouched behind the toppled car. “Don’t miss,” he added. He didn’t really know why, he knew Lance was a good shot, that he could shoot just about anything, yet the words came out of his mouth before he had time to reflect upon them.

Neither did he have time to reflect upon how Lance’s breath hitched behind him as he stepped out to the battlefield, into the drones’ line of fire.

Sure enough, a moment later, four fast shots found their way to a drone each, and they fell to the ground. But the Galra were upon them, and moments later a new wave of sentries appeared. In the end, Keith was really relieved to have the random Garrison cadets show up like they did; while Keith had no doubt that they would have made it to the Garrison themselves, it _did_ make things a heck of a lot easier.

* * *

Keith thought that he should have gotten a handle on boredom by now, yet he was extremely antsy. Wandering the halls of the Garrison was nostalgic in a very strange sort of way. It was the same, yet different. He had changed since he last been there, but so had the facility itself, and its people. Even though he wore the same stripes as he had as a cadet, he felt like they no longer belonged to him—not that he thought he deserved a higher ranking or anything like that, but more that the white and orange were the colours of the Garrison, but not of Voltron, and therefore not his.

He walked past some windows into a courtyard, and more out of habit than anything did he look out, only to find something he really hadn’t expected. Lance was out there with Allura, and they appeared to be training together, and even more specifically sparring. Close combat fighting, even. And Lance had a sword. A distinctively red sword that he wielded with a surprising amount of skill, trading blows with Allura’s whip, keeping up with her fast pace of action.

Without even thinking about it, Keith stepped out onto the courtyard, never taking his eyes off the pair, who seemed completely focused on each other, not noticing that they were being observed. Or so Keith reckoned until Lance put his hand up, signalling a pause and not even waiting for Allura to confirm before he turned to give Keith an icy glare. What had he done to deserve that?

“Can’t stay away from the action can you?” he remarked. His words could be taken as light teasing, but the tone said something else entirely.

Keith didn’t really feel like he had the skill-set to try to untangle what he’d done to make Lance so pissy towards him—usually Lance just straight up told him anyway—so since he hadn’t, Keith just moved on.

“When did your bayard turn into a sword?” he asked.

“Oh it was some time after you left,” Lance informed him, twirling said sword in his hand one time before summoning it back, and then turing to Allura. “I’m beat, but I’m sure Keith would _love_ to take my place if you still wanna continue.”

“I’m quite alright, really,” Allura said with a smile. “I was thinking of finding Romelle and knock another item of that movie list your brother gave us after this anyway.”

“Have fun,” Lance wished her and then proceeded to completely ignore Keith, walking right past him.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you suddenly could turn your bayard into a sword?” Keith called after him, which made Lance stop and look at him over his shoulder, instead of turning completely.

“Why would I?” was Lance’s reply before he continued walking.

That infuriated Keith to no end. He rushed after Lance and grabbed him by the shoulder right there in the middle of a public corridor, turning the other boy to face him once more. A whisper of something echoed in his head, but Keith payed it no mind, too occupied with the situation at hand.

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?” he demanded.

Lance slapped away his hand with a huff before getting into Keith’s face. “You know what? _Fine_. It means that you have been treating me like garbage ever since you returned from your solo space adventure, you’ve called me dumb, made me feel useless, and freaking told me _not to miss_ , like _when_ have I ever not taken a shot, Keith?” Lance told him. “It’s funny how being around people who actually love and want me there made me realise how bad you were really treating me.” He leaned back and crossed his arms, like he was daring Keith to protest.

That whisper in his head grew louder, but Keith was stuck trying to make of sense what Lance was saying.

“Of course I knew you wouldn’t actually miss,” Keith tried to reason, but Lance wasn’t having any of it.

“Oh so it was a joke then? Well I’m just _roaring_ with laughter over here,” he drawled.

_… going to lose him…_

“Was saying that I was the only one you didn’t want to be stuck with for eternity with a joke too? Because I gotta hand it to you, you really know what cracks me up,” he continued.

“I…” Keith started.

“You what, Keith?” Lance sneered, his eyes cold as ice.

“… Why didn’t you say something?” he asked.

“I knew you wouldn’t listen,” Lance said, his reply instant like he had been waiting to say it. “As long as we can form Voltron it doesn’t matter anyway, right?” he added. Lance’s dark remarks shook Keith to the core, and it was like he was back, drifting through space again, surrounded by misery and discontent once more.

“I’m sorry I made you feel like that,” Keith said, trying to find a way to resolve this issue, but Lance’s eyes only narrowed.

“Oh great! Then I guess it’s all forgiven! Everything solved because Keith is _sorry_! Our friendship is saved!” he shouted down the corridor. “Wake up, Keith,” he snapped, finally.

With those haunting words, Lance walked away once more, and Keith was stuck where he had been left standing, memories speeding through his head like flashes of thought. Him brushing Lance off when he arrived with his mum and Romelle back to the castle. All the times he snapped at him during training exercises. Those small comments every now and then when he thought Lance was irritating. Lance’s own words, accusing him of running away—saying that he should have stayed away.

His conversation with himself in the Astral Plane. Oh God.

He remembered how back when Shiro had disappeared, Lance had really been there for him, calling him out when he messed up, but also helping clean that mess up. Confiding in him, about his insecurities about his position on the team. Insecurities that he still hadn’t gotten over, only gotten better at hiding it seemed, all while Keith and the rest of the team kept mocking him for it.

Oh _fuck._

“Keith?” someone called to the left of him, and he turned to find Hunk standing there, his head cocked to the side, though his expression quickly changed to one of concern when he took in Keith’s face.

“Oh my god what happened?” Hunk said, pulling Keith out of the corridor and into the room he had apparently come from, judging by the engine and tools lying on one of the tables.

“I, I fucked up,” Keith told him.

“Come on, don’t be so hard on yourself,” Hunk said gently.

“Did you know Lance has a sword now?” Keith asked instead. He wasn’t really up for discussing what he thought of himself right now.

“Oh, yeah, he got it like a month after you left with the Blade, apparently it’s an Altean broad sword even. Allura said her dad used to also have the bayard turn into that when it was his,” Hunk informed him happily. “I know he trained with Allura to get used to it, but I think he was kinda waiting for you to come back since you’re the best one with swords anyway.”

“ _Dammit!_ ” Keith groaned. He ran his hands over his face in frustration, and exhaled into them, the humidity of his breath hitting his skin right away. “Completely fucked up. Freaking mini-me even _warned me_ , hell, slapped me for it. _Fuck_!”

“Keith, dude?” Hunk spoke in a calming voice, putting a hand on Keith’s shoulder. “What happened?”

“I hurt him, Hunk.” Keith confessed.

“Wait who?”

“ _Him_ —Lance, Hunk!” Keith exclaimed. “Made him feel useless even when he had even told me back then… I don’t—, when I kept snapping at him, I just, he kept getting on my nerves like he always does, and I mean it’s no excuse but I didn’t think he’d take it that bad—and, and then in the game show I said—”

“Woah, there buddy,” Hunk interrupted. “Breathe, man,” he instructed.

For a moment, they were quiet, Keith collecting his thoughts, but soon enough, Hunk spoke up once more.

“I think we were all a bit harsh on Lance during that thing with Bob, so you just gotta tell Lance that you’re sorry and make it up to him. For that, and like, the other stuff.”

“He literally said he wouldn’t forgive me for it,” Keith muttered.

“And that’s gonna keep you from trying?” Hunk argued. “Come on, Keith, you’re a Paladin of Voltron! You’ve fought space emperors and evil clones! I’m just saying you’ve been through way worse.”

“Okay, fine, but how then?”

To that Hunk shrugged. “I mean personally I’ve always just made Lance food when I’ve upset him, so I guess you just gotta prove that you’re sorry and will do better somehow?”

Keith sighed. “Right. Planning time.”

* * *

Keith actually had no idea how to make Lance not hate him—like he wasn’t even that sure how they got to be friends the first time around. Hunk had been of little use to come up with a plan, Pidge and Allura had been even worse, and Shiro said that he should just talk to Lance. Which. Sure. He _could_ do that, only it went _so well_ last time.

No, he needed something better, so that when he did manage to talk it over with Lance, he would be more open.

Thankfully, the Garrison offered one thing that space didn’t: Lance’s family.

Veronica was the obvious choice, since she and Lance seemed rather close, and she also acted rather responsible. Hopefully he would be able to ask for help and actually having her hear him out. He managed to find her at her work station, where she was thankfully only surrounded by colleagues.

“Hi, eh,” he said hesitantly, and she turned to him with a blank look, regarding him quietly. Looked like Lance had talked to her about him already. “Look, can I talk to you in private about Lance?”

She looked around the room. It was fairly empty, only a few people spread out on different monitors, quietly doing who knows what. Finally her gaze landed on him, and she crossed her arms. “I’m fine right here,” she told him.

“Okay…” He sighed. “I don’t know what he told you, but I actually _do_ care about him, and I mean, hell, I wouldn’t be alive without him—he’s had my back so many times over. I really don’t want him to go around thinking that he—that _we_ aren’t friends.”

“So you’re saying that you don’t find him irritating, dumb and useless?” she remarked and oh Lord, Lance really must have ranted about him to her.

“He’s definitely irritating,” Keith spoke truthfully. “Drives me up the walls all the time. But he’s also reliable, protective, funny, kind, the best shot I’ve seen, and an integral part of the team. I would never have figured out how to lead without him, and like I said, I know he has my back. So I need him to know that I also got his.”

Veronica drew a deep breath, then sighed, her eyes closed, like she was contemplating something. Then she uncrossed her arms and rose from her seat.

“Fine,” she said. “Come on.” She walked passed him, not looking to see if he’d follow, and then lead him to a smaller conference room where they could actually talk alone.

“Firstly, he can’t know I helped you because he will have my head for going around his back,” she told him and Keith nodded quickly. “But basically, you need to open up to him. Show him vulnerability and sincerity and he’ll respond in kind.”

“But how do I do that if he won’t even talk to me?” Keith asked.

“Look, Keith, if you’ve been through even half of the things I’ve heard, then he’s hoping you will go and beg for forgiveness, though he’s not counting on it. He’ll be pleasantly surprised.” She smiled ruefully at him.

“So you’re saying I need to talk to him?” Keith sighed. “I’m not really good with words…”

At that, Veronica slammed him firmly in the back. “Guess this is a great opportunity for you to practise, then!” she declared. She turned to leave, but then stopped herself. “And remember, I’ve not spoken a word to you. He should be back in his room now, I think.”

“Thank you,” Keith said. She gave him another smile in return, this one a lot more encouraging.

* * *

Veronica had been right that Lance was in his room. The problem was that on his way there he had been worrying about what he was going to say so much that he had gone full circle back to being completely speechless.

So when Lance opened his door and looked at Keith, he had literally nothing planned.

“What do _you_ want?” Lance asked sourly.

“Eh, so I have good authority that a younger version of myself would beat me up for the way I’ve been acting towards you,” was the first thing that came to mind and therefore out of his mouth, and God, Keith could not have come off as crazier.

“ _What_?” Lance asked, rightfully so.

Keith figured what the hell, since he had already started digging this hole he might as well go deeper. “Remember when we were floating aimlessly through space?” he asked. Upon Lance’s reserved nod, he continued. “I had this, eh, I guess it was a hallucination or something, but for a while, I wasn’t there with you, but in the Astral Plane. And there was this other me there, a younger one. And he slapped me.”

Lance chuckled involuntarily at his words. “Oh really?”

“Yeah… and he said some stuff. Mainly a warning, I didn’t really listen to him, though I guess I should have…”

“Why?” Lance asked.

“He…” Keith swallowed. “He said I’d lose you.”

“Oh.”

They were both quiet for a while, and Keith realised that that was all Lance was probably gonna give him at this point. Veronica had said to show vulnerability, so that was what he’d had to do.

Keith sighed, glancing down at the floor, not really knowing what to do with his eyes. “I know things have been different since I came back. It’s been going non-stop really, first fighting Lotor, then trying to get home, and now with Sendak looming over us all… and I didn’t really take the time to consider what our time apart would do for our friendship. But I am sorry, Lance, I really am, because even if I didn’t mean to I’ve still let you down.”

He looked back up to find Lance running a hand over his face before he stepped back into the room with a sigh. Keith didn’t need more than that to know that he should follow, and he closed the door behind him.

“Keith, you left almost right after I opened up to you—what the hell am I supposed to read into that?” Lance asked him. Keith thought back to their conversation; it had been literal years ago for him, but he still remembered Lance coming to his room, worrying about the amount of lions and Paladins. “Were you going instead of me? Were you sick of us? Hell it was probably part of the clone’s doing as well, looking back, but how would I know?” he said, his voice getting more and more animated as he went. “And I know it was no one’s fault really, but that clone, he… he kept yelling at me when I tried to offer my opinion on his more dangerous plans, and I kept thinking that if you had been there then you would at least have listened to me. But then you came back, and well…” He paused and looked at Keith. “I get that this is war and I should just leave my feelings at the door, but… but Voltron is all _about_ feelings in a way. Bonding with the lions, with the team, because we’re supposed to be more than just capable people going on missions together. I’m so tired of feeling like I’m just the fifth wheel, just so there can be a person in the final seat and we meet some quota.”

“I… Lance… you’ve always been the one person I felt like I didn’t have to worry about because you had it all under control,” Keith told him. “I mean, the rest of the team, they, well, all hid their struggles one way or another, like Pidge and how she would obsessively work herself into the ground, or how Hunk sometimes struggled to take a stand. You’ve always told me when something bothered you, often loudly,” he added light-heartedly, “but then you stopped. And I guess I can see why now.”

Lance regarded him quietly for a while, before he opened his mouth once more. “When we were captured by that Bob guy. What you said then—your reason for choosing me. Did you mean it?” he asked.

Keith hesitated. “I chose you because you were the first one that I thought of,” he confessed. It was the truth; he hadn’t really reflected on the pros and cons before he had written Lance’s name down; it was what had felt natural at the time and he hadn’t really wanted to analyse it further than that. “You’ve always been sneaking up to the bridge and stared at earth for hours, out of all of us you were the most homesick, and I couldn’t stand to have you there with me for eternity, knowing you’d never see your family again. I didn’t really think about it much beyond that.”

“But you made it sound like I was a horror to be around, you know that, right?” Lance pointed out.

Keith exhaled in frustration, brushing his bangs away from his face, only to have them fall right back into place. “You were the one who started the whole rival thing, always picking fights, and I mean, after a while it was just friendly teasing.”

“Yeah because it totally felt like teasing when you basically said that you didn’t want to spend time with me, or when you told me not to miss in an active war zone, Keith. Super funny.” Lance was getting more sarcastic, more aggressive, which was really the opposite of what should happen in this conversation. So Keith— _Keith_ —had to de-escalate it.

“Look, I missed you, okay?” he blurred out. “I was with the Blade and there were all of these casualties around me, always having the mission go above the person, I know that’s not how Voltron operates, but it _got_ to me, you know? And then I found my mum, which was weird and I didn’t know how I felt about it—only that I was angry with her at first for leaving me and dad, but then, well… I spent two years on that freaking space whale, and it literally forced us to confront the past.” He shifted his weight from one foot to another, and though he felt uncomfortable under Lance’s piercing gaze, he didn’t dare to look away either. “It was stupid of me, but I had just assumed that the team, that _we_ would fall back to normal when I came back. But of course it wouldn’t because I’ve changed, and _you’ve_ changed, and instead of asking you in what ways I just kept pushing forward.”

“That’s pretty articulate of you,” Lance pointed out… or teased more like it.

Keith couldn’t help but to smile at him, though he felt like he wasn’t completely done with this conversation yet. “I am sorry, you know. You’re really important to me—like you were there for me more than anyone else when Black first chose me, and I know you’ve always had my back. And I need you to know that I have yours. So I wanna make it up to you.”

“And how are you planning to do that?” Lance asked, cocking his head to the side, though he had started to smile too—a small glint in his eyes and a slight upturn in the corner of his mouth. It was like drinking a warm cup of tea or something—a sudden warmth that spread through Keith’s body from one moment to the next, all because he had gotten Lance to smile at him again.

He smiled back, probably much brighter. “You got a sword now, don’t you? I’m curious to see how good you can handle it.”

“Oh I got more than a _handle_ on it, alright,” Lance replied haughtily, a grin spreading over his face.

Keith knew he was not completely out of the doghouse yet, but at least the hard part was now over.

* * *

A while later, when they were taking a break from sparring, Lance innocently turned to him while he was sipping his water.

“So what did you say to get Veronica to help you?”

Keith choked, spraying his water all over himself and the ground in front of him. “I, uhmn, didn’t,” he hastily coughed, but Lance just raised an eyebrow at him. There was no use in lying about this, Keith concluded, so he just tried to catch his breath before he fessed up. “To be fair,” he started, “Shiro also said that I just needed to talk to you, though Veronica was more precise in how to do it.”

“Wait you talked to Shiro about this?” Lance seemed surprised.

“… I talked to the whole team before going to Veronica,” Keith confessed. “They were all useless, by the way,” he joked, but Lance looked completely floored.

“Huh,” he noted. “You really do care, actually.”

“Yeah, I do.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to come shout at me on [tumblr](http://wednesdaythunder.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/394wednesdays)
> 
> Also! In the middle of editing this I started to write a sequel, so stay tuned ;3


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